...and I'm back!

I have been really morning sick and then caught the flu (man, is that fun...) and just really was dealing with hating being pregnant. Fortunately, the last week or so has been much more tolerable, especially since now I have felt the baby move on a regular basis! The picture above is of a 17 week old baby - and should look like our baby does now :-)

I dreamed last night about the baby and it was probably the first time that I woke up and really fell in love with him or her. It has been very difficult to be excited when I was scared about miscarriage and feeling so sick and blech. I've also been having Braxton Hicks contractions, which is kind of early to feel, but apparently you can have them since 6 weeks and not know.

Anyhoo, we have to go shopping for food, since we haven't done a big grocery shop in probably 2 months and the cupboards are getting bare!

The Holidays are almost here!

I've always been a fan of Thanksgiving - it is probably my favorite holiday. I remember deciding that I liked Thanksgiving best when I was about 7 or 8 and the reasons why. For one, we always went to my mom's parents' house on Thanksgiving and Grandmama made sure to have the tree up (albeit with no presents - too early!) and to put on a huge spread including my absolute favorite, pumpkin pie. Grandmama's house was always the best Thanksgiving ever.

In fact, her Thanksgiving was a lot like her Christmas, excepting that at Thanksgiving, we knew that we still had Christmas coming. She would take canned cranberry sauce (without the whole berries) out of the can and slice it into circles. Then we were allowed to take these little cookie cutters (I'm still not sure what they actually were for, since I'm pretty sure now that they weren't for cookies) and cut shapes out of the cranberry sauce. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! I really miss our traditional holidays - so I'm sitting here writing this with all of my Christmas scented candles lit and Christmas music on the radio.

I know this doesn't really have much to do with the baby, but I've been thinking about the kinds of traditions I'd like to have for our family and feeling nostalgic. Also, we will be telling his family on Thanksgiving (and hopefully mine too, but I still haven't figured out a way to do so seeing as we probably won't be flying down to FL over Christmas). I think I will have to get out my decorations today (Joe is gone right now).

As to other news, this week has been very long and tiring. I was feeling sickish last weekend and attributed it to morning sickness, but Tuesday morning I woke up with a cold, feeling achy and fluey and sick to my stomach. I went in to work (although looking back, I should have stayed home) because I thought I was just morning sick and had caught the cold from Lauren and McKenzie. Well, I did catch the cold from them, but I caught the flu from them as well. Thank goodness I don't have to deal with being that sick for another 3 months. I really don't think I could have done it and still worked, and I have a great amount of respect for women that push through it. Fortunately, after Tuesday I felt a lot better, although I still am fighting the cold.

Food really looks awful to me now, I feel hungry all the time but not really. It's like I have a gnawing ache in my stomach all the time unless I eat and then it goes away for about 30 minutes. I have been surviving on Gatorade because I can sip it and I swear it is the best thing in the world! My pants are getting tight, but I think it is because my butt is HUGE! What is with that? I can deal with the stomach getting big, but I have a badonkadonk now and my tummy is still fairly flat. I bought my first maternity item last night, a long shirt that doesn't even look maternity and frankly I would wear not pregnant as well. I go in Monday morning for an ultrasound and hopefully we will see a heartbeat! I will post pictures of the u/s photos then.

Joe had an interview with the company that he worked for while in college yesterday. His work situation has gotten worse with his semi-boss and both he and I feel he could excel in a different environment. His current job hired a new guy to take over, (his semi-boss was temporarily filling in until the position was filled) and the new guy starts Monday, so hopefully the situation currently will get better. If not, it looks like his old company would love to have him back and it would be as a project manager over teams of student developers, or Software Systems Engineer (I think that is what he called it - it was that or Systems Development Engineer). At any rate, the pay would be better, his boss would be his old boss whom he likes, and the title is WAY better. Fingers crossed!

Ok, I'm off to get my decorations out!

The Beginning of Our Moogle

I'm sitting here at 5:20 am on a Saturday morning not by choice, but because I woke up at 4:30 so hungry I could puke. Just as a warning, it's not fun to wake up like that! But hey, it means the baby is doing okay, so I can deal with it.

The beginning of this story started a little over 2 weeks ago - I just kind of thought we might be pregnant, but I had taken so many tests over the last year and a half when I thought I might be pregnant that I didn't really put too much stock in that feeling. I had some leftover tests that I had bought a while ago and decided to just use one on a Thursday night. I actually threw it in the trash after about 30 sec. because I was so sure it would turn out negative. Later that night I thought I'd check it again just because... and it was positive! Of course, since it was after the time limit (you can't count positives after 10 minutes as positives as the dye can evaporate and create a "false" positive) I thought it had to be an false positive. I stressed the entire night, googling that particular brand of test to see if it was a brand that had a lot of false positives. Joe actually felt the test in my pocket and was trying to get it from me to find out what it was, but I kept it away from him, not sure how I would explain a positive result that wasn't necessarily positive. Why freak him out for no reason, right? The next morning I took one of almost every test I had - and they were ALL positive, so I couldn't deny it then - we were having a baby!

Now to tell Joe! I was unsure of how he would take it - I had told him a while ago that he better not shoot me down if and when I ever tell him I was pregnant, but I was still a little nervous! We were planning on going to a college football game and tailgate party on Saturday, so I planned on taking him out to dinner and springing it on him then. I figured he wouldn't be so vocal if we were out and about! Friday was hard, it was hard to be at work and know about our baby and not blurt it out to the world! Plus, I was so nervous I was feeling sick all day ( ok, it could have been morning sickness too!). I went out Friday night after work and picked up a nice box and a Congratulations card for Joe - I was going to put a digital pregnancy test in the box (they read out pregnant or not pregnant - no guessing there!).

Saturday we went to the tailgate party at Joe's work, and then to the game, which we won! It was great, but I was still feeling tired and a little sick. We went to Ruby Tuesday's afterwards, and got a booth (thankfully! I hate tables in the open.). I excused myself to the bathroom, but in reality, I hurried out to the car and emptied my purse out so I could fit the box with the test in. I also had to check to make sure it was still reading pregnant! The battery in the digi test dies after a while. If not, I had a backup digital test that I could do in the bathroom just in case. Fortunately, it still read pregnant!

We made conversation for a while, and then I decided to just give him the box - of course, as soon as Joe opened the box, the server came with our food! I seriously could have shot her. As it was, I glared at her. Joe had read the card and I had made sure it didn't give anything away, so he was still curious, but I think he had seen the test when he opened the box. He then put the box away and started eating. Grrr!

Somehow I suffered through dinner and we just didn't talk about the box. We FINALLY got into the car and he opened the box and read the test. Joe turned to me and asked, "We're pregnant?" and I answered, "We're pregnant!". He gave me a big kiss and was excited about it, which made me really happy and very much relieved.

The rest of the weekend just draggggged. I decided to set up an appointment for the OB on Monday, and had actually had an annual already set up with her in December, so it worked out. Unfortunately, I had some spotting and my right side felt very achy all day, and I mentioned that to the nurse when I called to set up the appointments. She called me back and told me to come in Thursday for an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is one that the baby implants into the fallopian tube and not into the uterus. This can be a problem, because as the baby grows, the tube isn't big enough to support it and can rupture. I went in Thursday before work, so nervous I could throw up, and freezing cold. I had forgotten to drink water ( you have to have a full bladder for an ultrasound) and all I had in the car was almost frozen bottles of water that had been in my car for ages. I frantically downed 32 oz. of freezing water while waiting to go in for the ultrasound, and it hit me in the waiting room as I started shivering uncontrollably!

The ultrasound went great, and I was able to see our little "moogle", which was just a black spot then as I was only 4w2d along. They then took blood to do a quantitative beta which measures the exact level of pregnancy hormone (HCG) in the blood. I was to come in on Monday for another beta to make sure the numbers were doubling properly. I emailed Joe the picture of our baby and he texted me saying "We've created a black spot! Good work, baby!" Men :-D

I got a phone call from the nurse just as I was walking out of work that night and she told me my beta was 1555. If you go here, it shows that I'm definitely in the top end of scores at 17dpo for having one baby. Hell, I'm even in the top scores for multiples! At that point I started thinking twins? My beta on Monday was 5714 at 92 hours - it is supposed to double every 48-72 hours up to 1000 and then doubling every 72-96 hours after that. You can compare that number (taken early in the morning so it would have been even higher if tested later in the day) for singles and multiples at 21dpo. I would really love twins, but unless they are identical or another sac (black spot) is hiding - which is entirely possible since I was so early when I had the ultrasound. Joe is a little bit freaked out though about the prospect of twins!

So far we haven't told anyone yet, just because I want to make sure that the baby (or babies!) are going to make it. I was planning on waiting until Christmas to tell because we would be 12 weeks pregnant exactly at that point, but Joe wants to tell at Thanksgiving, when I would be 7w2d. I get to have another ultrasound that Monday at 6w6d - so hopefully we can see a heartbeat! It will be cool to show that vs. the black spot :-)

It's been quite funny this week though, my mom's friend is adopting 6 month old twins and my mom (who loves kids) has been gushing over them and telling me how great a grandmother she is going to be. It is all I can do not to laugh out loud and tell her she already IS a grandma! I also am chuckling because Shari, Joe's sister, has been telling me as soon as they moved away, THAT is when I'd get pregnant, and it was so true I can't help but laugh!

So that has been the last couple of weeks. It has been a bit of a roller coaster, but we are so happy and excited for our little baby!